Episode 4
Subject Name: Christina
Subject Location: Ciales, Puerto Rico Original
Jarbo: Everybody, we’re back with another installment of “The Zurvivalist”, that’s the name of our new show here on K-zone radio and to commemorate this very special occasion on getting a brand new name and a brand new website, I like to welcome Christina from Puerto Rico! We have her tonight with us. How you doing Christina?
Christina: Doing very well!
Jarbo: Awesome! The question I always ask, and you’re going to experience it first time right now is, what would you do to survive a Zombie outbreak?
Christina: Well, hypothetically speaking if I was at my house which is in the middle of the Island of Puerto Rico, in town called Ciales. We’re about 15 minutes north of Manati, and Manati is real close to the military base for the national guards and the army, things like that. I would first of all grab my kids, grab my husband and we would start to gather things in the house. I’d have my eight year old grab the butcher knives. I’ve got samurai swords in my bedroom. Well, guns ran out of ammo but we will bring whatever guns we got. We have six guns in the house, and we have probably 25 rounds per guns in the house
Jarbo: Damn!
Christina: Well, we live with two cops and you know what I mean? It’s just ridiculous! We have three security guards and everything.
Jarbo: Okay, so see that’s what we have ammunitions covered? That’s good!
Christina: Yeah we have partial armory in my house, but the Samurai sword is mine, it is from Japan which is awesome!
Jarbo: Is it really sharp? Can it cut through flesh and bone?
Christina: Absolutely! Absolutely! I’ve seen it cut through concrete.
Jarbo: Oh no shit…
Christina: Yeah! No shit.
Jarbo: Awesome! So you’d be like leave the pack you know? With the samurai sword upfront? And just be all like KEEYAH!
Christina: Well actually, no! My husband would be doing that and I’ll be guarding my kids.
Jarbo: Right, good idea!
Christina: My husband will be out in the front with a meat cleaver, because we have a huge meat cleaver that killed the pigs and the chicken, things like that, so we’ll go ahead and get down with that. He can have that but he’ll go Rambo style, you know navy seal and things like that. And you know try to live in the forest… try to survive, but we have a truck that you can go riding in the mountains. It’s kind of like a jeep but it’s covered all the way around. I would need to keep our water bottled. Bare necessities, not even our clothes, no nothing, just pack your shirt and get the fuck out, excuse my language.
Jarbo: its okay anything goes here on the show.
Christina: Because the hills they are only like a road that has two sides to it and it goes too on the sides of the mountains. So if you make a mistake then you’re screwed, if you’re on the other side of the mountains. I’m imagining in the Zombie attack everyone is panicky, the roads are
going to be cluttered with garbage and people and cars. So you can’t go that route. So I know we would probably get down to the bottom and we’re by the river all the way to the bay. I’ve actually seen it, my friend had got one, it’s a solid powered yacht, only 50 ft but you know? It works!
Jarbo: Oh wait! Wait! Wait! A solar -
Christina: – Powered Yacht!
Jarbo: You got to be shifting me!
Christina: Nope! I’m not shitting you; it has solar panels all lined in the tops of its deck that you can’t even see.
Jarbo: You would just like, so you would go to the yacht, that’s…
Christina: Well that’s my mission to get there. I’m going to kill anybody and everybody out of my way. I’m not there to help nobody, I’m not there to save you, if you’re crying for help and I know you’re human what have you, I don’t know how, how it’s passed on, I am taking no chances, you know what I’m saying? Nobody is worth my babies.
Jarbo: So you would just kill every person that got in the way.
Christina: I will kill everybody I see.
Jarbo: Wow!
Christina: If you’re in my way, I will kill anybody. Absolutely!
Jarbo: Well, that’s pretty brutal.
Christina: You’d be fucked! I won’t go out of my way to chase you but if you come in to me for help or for anything, to eat me or what have you, it is so on and I will cut you, I will cut you so bad!
Jarbo: I believe you! I believe you!
Christina: I don’t know the scenario on how the zombie attacks start, is it viral? Is it air born? Is it like you know, is it the typical zombie movie type of thing?
Jarbo: Yeah you know it’s kind of what it is, like you know I never specify what kind of zombie it is most of the time. I’m talking about generic. One bite you get, you turn, and you know destroy
Christina: So you got to stab them in brain and cut off their head that kind of thing. So yeah I’d be so down with it, I’d be terrified as hell but I would do it.
Jarbo: So your mission is to get from your house to the yacht. How far of a distance is that?
Christina: That’s about 30 miles.
Jarbo: 30 miles okay. And how many people are in your city?
Christina: Oh man!
Jarbo: Like a couple of million, or a hundred thousand
Christina: Oh not even, it’s….In…Ciales? Probably, maybe a thousand?
Jarbo: Oh maybe a thousand, so it’s really small?
Christina: Yeah!
Jarbo: So you probably wouldn’t have much of a problem killing the locals
Christina: No! Killing stupid people. There are even stupid people there that don’t have birth certificates and stuff, most of these people are having, you know, kids and stuff back in the old country, but they don’t have records of them being born. So they go out to live in the mountains like Hillbillies and all that, you know, but they don’t have a record that they are there, so you could be fighting a lot more than that. Because these people are sneaky, and there are lots of them. It would probably be safe going down the side of the mountain and following the river. Because with the river, you could have your getaway, and it will slow them down cause of the
water. You’ve got the advantage cause you could see what’s surrounds you, all the way around you, and you’ll be on top of the mountain.
Jarbo: So it’s a pretty good advantage point. Take the road by the river.
Christina: Yeah, but once you get towards where the river turns into a bigger river. When you start getting into a bigger body of water then you got to go back up the other side of the mountain! And then once you go back up, then you can go around the back side on an old road that goes to the side of the mountain, to a new road and you can go down to the… I forgot the name of that beach where they have that yacht.
Jarbo: But you know the beach and you know the yacht?
Christina: Yeah I know where it is located.
Jarbo: How would you get supplies?
Christina: I would break in to someone’s home. I wouldn’t go into stores. I won’t go to Wal-Mart. I’ll break in to people’s home, only three homes the most. Take their food, take whatever I can, like first-aid kits, or alcohol – things like that. And I would just go savaging people’s homes, but I would avoid big huge places. Never ever go where there could be lots and lots of people trying to do the same thing you are.
Jarbo: Good plan ha! Keep out of the lime light. You don’t want to be caught.
Christina: Yeah not only that, but if one person gets turned in that Wal-Mart, and the next thing you know it’s a mad haven and you don’t know where the infection is going to be at.
Jarbo: True! True!
Christina: So you want to be safe. Just me and my husband, and my two kids and kill whoever is on that yacht. I feel sorry for them. Friend or no friend, I feel sorry for them.
Jarbo: So, it really doesn’t matter, even if your best friend’s on there, or do you tell them to “get the fuck out”?
Christina: Absolutely, I won’t save the fucker, I’ll kill him.
Jarbo: Alright that’s understandable, that makes sense. So, here’s the question, once you get on the yacht, you kill the owners and you toss the bodies over, where would you go from there?
Christina: Well because the boat has a purifying system, it will filter the water and it will recycle everything and we wouldn’t have to stop for water, we wouldn’t stop for gas. My husband can go fishing and I can go fishing. I don’t necessarily know where we’d go, we’d probably stay out there until we hear a news from the radio, but I’m pretty sure all radio communication will be gone by that point, so I don’t know.
Jarbo: So you would just jump on the boat and, and waited out cause I mean technically if it has everything that you need. You really have no need to go anywhere else.
Christina: That’s why I chose to go there. Because I used to work in a military base closed to Manti. And I thought about it and I said no, I can’t, what if they have they taken over? What if they are infected? What if they are the one who started it? They go to chew you when you walk up. You know that kind of stuff. Plus it’s bigger more crowd cause everybody will be going there.
Jarbo: True! People will all be running towards that military base, like its crazy. So let me ask you the last question which would be, what would you do if you are bit, and you’re going to become a zombie? What would you do?
Christina: Honestly, I would probably ask my husband to drop me off somewhere and shoot me. But, before I try, I would want to see, the last thing I see to be my kids. If it would be possible, humanly possible that right before I turn, I just want to see my kids, and then he could
take me out cause I wouldn’t care, I’ll be dead already. Just kill me! But I can’t do it myself; I’m too scared to do it myself.
Jarbo: Well a lot of people are. So that’s all the time we have for this week. And Christina thank you very much for bring on the show, that’s definitely I should say that’s the most interesting conversation I’ve had so far with somebody about surviving the Zombie attack. And for all of you guys listening at home, you guys can always check out our new website at www.Zurvivalist.com. Until next time this is Jarbo and I’ll see you guys later.
