Family is Hard and I Give Up

Family is Hard and I Give Up

So, all this family that I’ve met in the last year has overall proven to be a bit flaky, and my cousin, who I thought I had a decent relationship with, just literally cut contact for about 4 months then messaged me the other day like nothing was weird, and this is after seeing each other pretty often all winter and going on a trip to Canada together (her family, Ross and I). After the trip to Canada. Not a peep until she had a question about the internet at the cabin that no one else could answer, then once again, crickets. I made an effort, invited her out for her b-day, on me, before we left the area for the first month, but her, everyone and their dogs know that we’re back every 4 weeks for 2 weeks and we post online all the time so, there’s not really any excuses except disinterest. She fained interest the other day “you back in the area? we should do something” and when I told her when we were available, basically after work any day, still no plans made. If I try to make specific plans they get shot down with “busy that night”. Sure it could all be for real, she’s busy, but I feel like it has more to do with me personally and I can’t stand it. I’d rather not have family than constantly be flaked on. I’ve never had family really so it was a big deal to me, but not to her or any of the rest of them really. I’m not asking for them to be available when we are, but all they have to do is at least attempt to make plans with us rather than just pretending they want to then being like “ohh, jeeze, guess we missed you”, every.damn.time.

 

Another family drama, much too long to explain because I just had surgery on my arm today and typing sucks, is that my mom and sister are essentially homeless. My therapist and psychiatrist, who I have because of my shit childhood – mainly my mom’s effect on me, both agree I should stop talking to her and not help her at all, either of them. Both will take help, give nothing back, and end up in the same pile of poop they started in, and they make the shitty decisions over and over expecting someone to help without even asking, just “are you going to fucking help me or not” (literally quote from my mom).
My mom’s at a hotel right now until her SSI runs out in about 10 days max, she probably won’t find a place for her situation, a nursing home type place, because of competition and I have no idea where she’ll end up. She left the last preemptively in a fit after being told she was getting evicted, because she likes to spend her money on herself instead of rent, not follow rules and makes unreasonable demands on the staff. She’s also addicted to pain medicine so… she’s pretty screwed.

Anyone who says “but she’s your mom!” (like some stranger at a bar in California did) doesn’t know the situation well enough. She’s been awful one way or another my entire life.

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